How to dodge/answer when an interviewer asks (legal) personal questions?












16














Indian female here, residing in India. Been attending technical interviews and there were a few where one or two personal questions were popped up right at the beginning. They didn't make me uncomfortable per se, but made me think 'Why is this even important?'



A few of these are :




  • Where are you from? This/that city or this/that region? (I am residing in the same city as the company and there is no question of relocation)

  • How can you manage your family, kids and work if you are willing to join our organization? (It has regular office timings; nothing like working in US/UK shift)


  • Do you have kids?


Kindly remember that here in India, people get personal very easily and there is nothing illegal about such questions as considered in the other countries.



As much as I wish that the discussion was purely technical, I understand that I cannot change what is being asked. All I want to reply is, 'I am here for a technical discussion and do not want to get into my personal details.'



My question is how do I put across this thought in a diplomatic way so that I am not asked about these further?



I am stressing it here; a few recruiters and interviewers get personal very quickly and get offended very quickly too. Yes, I am glad that I do not work for them. But, I want to reply in a smooth manner as well.










share|improve this question





























    16














    Indian female here, residing in India. Been attending technical interviews and there were a few where one or two personal questions were popped up right at the beginning. They didn't make me uncomfortable per se, but made me think 'Why is this even important?'



    A few of these are :




    • Where are you from? This/that city or this/that region? (I am residing in the same city as the company and there is no question of relocation)

    • How can you manage your family, kids and work if you are willing to join our organization? (It has regular office timings; nothing like working in US/UK shift)


    • Do you have kids?


    Kindly remember that here in India, people get personal very easily and there is nothing illegal about such questions as considered in the other countries.



    As much as I wish that the discussion was purely technical, I understand that I cannot change what is being asked. All I want to reply is, 'I am here for a technical discussion and do not want to get into my personal details.'



    My question is how do I put across this thought in a diplomatic way so that I am not asked about these further?



    I am stressing it here; a few recruiters and interviewers get personal very quickly and get offended very quickly too. Yes, I am glad that I do not work for them. But, I want to reply in a smooth manner as well.










    share|improve this question



























      16












      16








      16







      Indian female here, residing in India. Been attending technical interviews and there were a few where one or two personal questions were popped up right at the beginning. They didn't make me uncomfortable per se, but made me think 'Why is this even important?'



      A few of these are :




      • Where are you from? This/that city or this/that region? (I am residing in the same city as the company and there is no question of relocation)

      • How can you manage your family, kids and work if you are willing to join our organization? (It has regular office timings; nothing like working in US/UK shift)


      • Do you have kids?


      Kindly remember that here in India, people get personal very easily and there is nothing illegal about such questions as considered in the other countries.



      As much as I wish that the discussion was purely technical, I understand that I cannot change what is being asked. All I want to reply is, 'I am here for a technical discussion and do not want to get into my personal details.'



      My question is how do I put across this thought in a diplomatic way so that I am not asked about these further?



      I am stressing it here; a few recruiters and interviewers get personal very quickly and get offended very quickly too. Yes, I am glad that I do not work for them. But, I want to reply in a smooth manner as well.










      share|improve this question















      Indian female here, residing in India. Been attending technical interviews and there were a few where one or two personal questions were popped up right at the beginning. They didn't make me uncomfortable per se, but made me think 'Why is this even important?'



      A few of these are :




      • Where are you from? This/that city or this/that region? (I am residing in the same city as the company and there is no question of relocation)

      • How can you manage your family, kids and work if you are willing to join our organization? (It has regular office timings; nothing like working in US/UK shift)


      • Do you have kids?


      Kindly remember that here in India, people get personal very easily and there is nothing illegal about such questions as considered in the other countries.



      As much as I wish that the discussion was purely technical, I understand that I cannot change what is being asked. All I want to reply is, 'I am here for a technical discussion and do not want to get into my personal details.'



      My question is how do I put across this thought in a diplomatic way so that I am not asked about these further?



      I am stressing it here; a few recruiters and interviewers get personal very quickly and get offended very quickly too. Yes, I am glad that I do not work for them. But, I want to reply in a smooth manner as well.







      interviewing india personal-questions






      share|improve this question















      share|improve this question













      share|improve this question




      share|improve this question








      edited 7 mins ago









      Monica Cellio

      45.1k18115199




      45.1k18115199










      asked yesterday









      WonderWoman

      1,2051618




      1,2051618






















          1 Answer
          1






          active

          oldest

          votes


















          21














          While I am not Indian, I am familiar with the culture and how personal it is, and how offense is given and taken.



          The best solution is to either be brief, and say "I do not think this will be an issue" or something like that to any personal inquiry, or to bury them in details, then change the subject.



          Example:




          Where are you from.




          A: I am local




          How can you manage your family.. etc




          A: I do not think that will be an issue, as I have been working for some time and managing it all quite well.



          or, alternatively......



          A: Well, the youngest one is in school right now, and is doing very well, science is her favorite subject, she got excellent grades last year and is doing quite well this year as well, the oldest prefers math and will likely be looking into physics as a career some day. My spouse and I coordinate quite well in all of these things....



          and drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.



          Judge which approach works best on a case by case basis. If time is a concern with the interviewer, they will stop asking personal questions if you drag out the answers. If the brief approach works, use that and complete the answer by dragging it back to your skill set.




          Where are you from?




          I am local, and I have been working in this industry for X years. My last employer was pleased with the fact that I delivered the widget project on time and under budget....



          Either approach is a good way to be assertive, keep them from getting too deep into your personal life, and keeping from offending as well.




          Do you have kids?




          A: I believe family is important, which is why I want to work for you. I know you have a strong commitment to your employees and their families.






          share|improve this answer



















          • 1




            @WonderWoman just added a response to that. If you are ever cornered, and must answer, or offend, answer and then drag it right back to promoting yourself without giving them time to follow up on the personal question.
            – Richard U
            yesterday






          • 5




            I so admire you for these answers. I can't wait to use these replies. I know I cannot avoid such questions; but answering them tactfully is important too. Thank you so much.
            – WonderWoman
            yesterday








          • 2




            Is the point of "drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.", to simply to make them unwilling to ask another because you are boring? Or is it so you can make them feel like they have satisfied their (possibly subconcious) quota for personal small talk? Or for some other reason.
            – Lyndon White
            yesterday






          • 1




            @LyndonWhite Any and all of the above
            – Richard U
            yesterday






          • 1




            @Mazura The culture in India is very different than America. In America, even asking is a HUGE no-no. In india, it's more the norm. The cultural gap is huge here, so NOT answering can be considered rude
            – Richard U
            20 hours ago











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          1 Answer
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          1 Answer
          1






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          active

          oldest

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          active

          oldest

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          21














          While I am not Indian, I am familiar with the culture and how personal it is, and how offense is given and taken.



          The best solution is to either be brief, and say "I do not think this will be an issue" or something like that to any personal inquiry, or to bury them in details, then change the subject.



          Example:




          Where are you from.




          A: I am local




          How can you manage your family.. etc




          A: I do not think that will be an issue, as I have been working for some time and managing it all quite well.



          or, alternatively......



          A: Well, the youngest one is in school right now, and is doing very well, science is her favorite subject, she got excellent grades last year and is doing quite well this year as well, the oldest prefers math and will likely be looking into physics as a career some day. My spouse and I coordinate quite well in all of these things....



          and drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.



          Judge which approach works best on a case by case basis. If time is a concern with the interviewer, they will stop asking personal questions if you drag out the answers. If the brief approach works, use that and complete the answer by dragging it back to your skill set.




          Where are you from?




          I am local, and I have been working in this industry for X years. My last employer was pleased with the fact that I delivered the widget project on time and under budget....



          Either approach is a good way to be assertive, keep them from getting too deep into your personal life, and keeping from offending as well.




          Do you have kids?




          A: I believe family is important, which is why I want to work for you. I know you have a strong commitment to your employees and their families.






          share|improve this answer



















          • 1




            @WonderWoman just added a response to that. If you are ever cornered, and must answer, or offend, answer and then drag it right back to promoting yourself without giving them time to follow up on the personal question.
            – Richard U
            yesterday






          • 5




            I so admire you for these answers. I can't wait to use these replies. I know I cannot avoid such questions; but answering them tactfully is important too. Thank you so much.
            – WonderWoman
            yesterday








          • 2




            Is the point of "drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.", to simply to make them unwilling to ask another because you are boring? Or is it so you can make them feel like they have satisfied their (possibly subconcious) quota for personal small talk? Or for some other reason.
            – Lyndon White
            yesterday






          • 1




            @LyndonWhite Any and all of the above
            – Richard U
            yesterday






          • 1




            @Mazura The culture in India is very different than America. In America, even asking is a HUGE no-no. In india, it's more the norm. The cultural gap is huge here, so NOT answering can be considered rude
            – Richard U
            20 hours ago
















          21














          While I am not Indian, I am familiar with the culture and how personal it is, and how offense is given and taken.



          The best solution is to either be brief, and say "I do not think this will be an issue" or something like that to any personal inquiry, or to bury them in details, then change the subject.



          Example:




          Where are you from.




          A: I am local




          How can you manage your family.. etc




          A: I do not think that will be an issue, as I have been working for some time and managing it all quite well.



          or, alternatively......



          A: Well, the youngest one is in school right now, and is doing very well, science is her favorite subject, she got excellent grades last year and is doing quite well this year as well, the oldest prefers math and will likely be looking into physics as a career some day. My spouse and I coordinate quite well in all of these things....



          and drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.



          Judge which approach works best on a case by case basis. If time is a concern with the interviewer, they will stop asking personal questions if you drag out the answers. If the brief approach works, use that and complete the answer by dragging it back to your skill set.




          Where are you from?




          I am local, and I have been working in this industry for X years. My last employer was pleased with the fact that I delivered the widget project on time and under budget....



          Either approach is a good way to be assertive, keep them from getting too deep into your personal life, and keeping from offending as well.




          Do you have kids?




          A: I believe family is important, which is why I want to work for you. I know you have a strong commitment to your employees and their families.






          share|improve this answer



















          • 1




            @WonderWoman just added a response to that. If you are ever cornered, and must answer, or offend, answer and then drag it right back to promoting yourself without giving them time to follow up on the personal question.
            – Richard U
            yesterday






          • 5




            I so admire you for these answers. I can't wait to use these replies. I know I cannot avoid such questions; but answering them tactfully is important too. Thank you so much.
            – WonderWoman
            yesterday








          • 2




            Is the point of "drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.", to simply to make them unwilling to ask another because you are boring? Or is it so you can make them feel like they have satisfied their (possibly subconcious) quota for personal small talk? Or for some other reason.
            – Lyndon White
            yesterday






          • 1




            @LyndonWhite Any and all of the above
            – Richard U
            yesterday






          • 1




            @Mazura The culture in India is very different than America. In America, even asking is a HUGE no-no. In india, it's more the norm. The cultural gap is huge here, so NOT answering can be considered rude
            – Richard U
            20 hours ago














          21












          21








          21






          While I am not Indian, I am familiar with the culture and how personal it is, and how offense is given and taken.



          The best solution is to either be brief, and say "I do not think this will be an issue" or something like that to any personal inquiry, or to bury them in details, then change the subject.



          Example:




          Where are you from.




          A: I am local




          How can you manage your family.. etc




          A: I do not think that will be an issue, as I have been working for some time and managing it all quite well.



          or, alternatively......



          A: Well, the youngest one is in school right now, and is doing very well, science is her favorite subject, she got excellent grades last year and is doing quite well this year as well, the oldest prefers math and will likely be looking into physics as a career some day. My spouse and I coordinate quite well in all of these things....



          and drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.



          Judge which approach works best on a case by case basis. If time is a concern with the interviewer, they will stop asking personal questions if you drag out the answers. If the brief approach works, use that and complete the answer by dragging it back to your skill set.




          Where are you from?




          I am local, and I have been working in this industry for X years. My last employer was pleased with the fact that I delivered the widget project on time and under budget....



          Either approach is a good way to be assertive, keep them from getting too deep into your personal life, and keeping from offending as well.




          Do you have kids?




          A: I believe family is important, which is why I want to work for you. I know you have a strong commitment to your employees and their families.






          share|improve this answer














          While I am not Indian, I am familiar with the culture and how personal it is, and how offense is given and taken.



          The best solution is to either be brief, and say "I do not think this will be an issue" or something like that to any personal inquiry, or to bury them in details, then change the subject.



          Example:




          Where are you from.




          A: I am local




          How can you manage your family.. etc




          A: I do not think that will be an issue, as I have been working for some time and managing it all quite well.



          or, alternatively......



          A: Well, the youngest one is in school right now, and is doing very well, science is her favorite subject, she got excellent grades last year and is doing quite well this year as well, the oldest prefers math and will likely be looking into physics as a career some day. My spouse and I coordinate quite well in all of these things....



          and drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.



          Judge which approach works best on a case by case basis. If time is a concern with the interviewer, they will stop asking personal questions if you drag out the answers. If the brief approach works, use that and complete the answer by dragging it back to your skill set.




          Where are you from?




          I am local, and I have been working in this industry for X years. My last employer was pleased with the fact that I delivered the widget project on time and under budget....



          Either approach is a good way to be assertive, keep them from getting too deep into your personal life, and keeping from offending as well.




          Do you have kids?




          A: I believe family is important, which is why I want to work for you. I know you have a strong commitment to your employees and their families.







          share|improve this answer














          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer








          edited yesterday

























          answered yesterday









          Richard U

          87.2k63220338




          87.2k63220338








          • 1




            @WonderWoman just added a response to that. If you are ever cornered, and must answer, or offend, answer and then drag it right back to promoting yourself without giving them time to follow up on the personal question.
            – Richard U
            yesterday






          • 5




            I so admire you for these answers. I can't wait to use these replies. I know I cannot avoid such questions; but answering them tactfully is important too. Thank you so much.
            – WonderWoman
            yesterday








          • 2




            Is the point of "drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.", to simply to make them unwilling to ask another because you are boring? Or is it so you can make them feel like they have satisfied their (possibly subconcious) quota for personal small talk? Or for some other reason.
            – Lyndon White
            yesterday






          • 1




            @LyndonWhite Any and all of the above
            – Richard U
            yesterday






          • 1




            @Mazura The culture in India is very different than America. In America, even asking is a HUGE no-no. In india, it's more the norm. The cultural gap is huge here, so NOT answering can be considered rude
            – Richard U
            20 hours ago














          • 1




            @WonderWoman just added a response to that. If you are ever cornered, and must answer, or offend, answer and then drag it right back to promoting yourself without giving them time to follow up on the personal question.
            – Richard U
            yesterday






          • 5




            I so admire you for these answers. I can't wait to use these replies. I know I cannot avoid such questions; but answering them tactfully is important too. Thank you so much.
            – WonderWoman
            yesterday








          • 2




            Is the point of "drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.", to simply to make them unwilling to ask another because you are boring? Or is it so you can make them feel like they have satisfied their (possibly subconcious) quota for personal small talk? Or for some other reason.
            – Lyndon White
            yesterday






          • 1




            @LyndonWhite Any and all of the above
            – Richard U
            yesterday






          • 1




            @Mazura The culture in India is very different than America. In America, even asking is a HUGE no-no. In india, it's more the norm. The cultural gap is huge here, so NOT answering can be considered rude
            – Richard U
            20 hours ago








          1




          1




          @WonderWoman just added a response to that. If you are ever cornered, and must answer, or offend, answer and then drag it right back to promoting yourself without giving them time to follow up on the personal question.
          – Richard U
          yesterday




          @WonderWoman just added a response to that. If you are ever cornered, and must answer, or offend, answer and then drag it right back to promoting yourself without giving them time to follow up on the personal question.
          – Richard U
          yesterday




          5




          5




          I so admire you for these answers. I can't wait to use these replies. I know I cannot avoid such questions; but answering them tactfully is important too. Thank you so much.
          – WonderWoman
          yesterday






          I so admire you for these answers. I can't wait to use these replies. I know I cannot avoid such questions; but answering them tactfully is important too. Thank you so much.
          – WonderWoman
          yesterday






          2




          2




          Is the point of "drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.", to simply to make them unwilling to ask another because you are boring? Or is it so you can make them feel like they have satisfied their (possibly subconcious) quota for personal small talk? Or for some other reason.
          – Lyndon White
          yesterday




          Is the point of "drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.", to simply to make them unwilling to ask another because you are boring? Or is it so you can make them feel like they have satisfied their (possibly subconcious) quota for personal small talk? Or for some other reason.
          – Lyndon White
          yesterday




          1




          1




          @LyndonWhite Any and all of the above
          – Richard U
          yesterday




          @LyndonWhite Any and all of the above
          – Richard U
          yesterday




          1




          1




          @Mazura The culture in India is very different than America. In America, even asking is a HUGE no-no. In india, it's more the norm. The cultural gap is huge here, so NOT answering can be considered rude
          – Richard U
          20 hours ago




          @Mazura The culture in India is very different than America. In America, even asking is a HUGE no-no. In india, it's more the norm. The cultural gap is huge here, so NOT answering can be considered rude
          – Richard U
          20 hours ago


















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